All jokes

Wash It Away - By Bradley Lewis(watersharky) and Ben Lewis and Watersharky Music Productions - Why does it always feel like I'm the one that's had a bad day?

Whether I'm stuck in traffic or showing up to work late,

Oh this 9 to 5 feels like 9 to forever been working all week

For a jerk that thinks they can say whatever they want to me

I'll just bite my tongue for a couple more days

Soon I'll be in that island sun surfing those waves

I need the beach I love the ocean

Put my feet in the sand

Watch the earth in motion

Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

Oh yeah

You gotta wash it away

Finally I'm here and I can't even stop myself from smiling

Somebody hand me a beer and I'll check the girls on the island

Don't miss my 9 to 5

Living like a local on this island time

I got those sandy toes and nobody knows jump in the ocean and just go with the flow

I'll miss my sandy toes

I've got to go back before you know this island is my home

I need the beach I love the ocean

Put my feet in the sand

Watch the earth in motion

Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

Oh yeah

You gotta wash it away

Wash it away

I need the beach I love the ocean

Put my feet in the sand

Watch the earth in motion

Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

Oh yeah

You gotta

Wash it away

Wash it away

I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.

I apologize for my grammar.

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  • Celebrate-By- watersharky Productions and Pitbull- Mr. Worldwide Let's celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. We've been around the world, same song. Work hard, play hard, all day long. All the continents get jealous over me. You can see me 3D overseas. If you know me then you know where to find me Off in the Bahamas with a bad one behind me. Now live it up, live it up, live it up Baby pick it up, pick it up, pick it up And we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up I've been patiently waiting for you to shake and shake it Make it or take it The point is we made it Courted by the game, call us Tom Brady And it's not our fault that we have all the ladies But it's hard to see these ladies when your middle name's Equator All around the globe, matter fact see your later They're great, we're great at world war, dominators And we're also some smooth operators, and we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom That's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up Live it up (Live it up), don't let life live you (Live you) It's a good time (Good time), so we give you (Give you) Now live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up What you wanna do? I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate.

    Okay Air Attack Productions... Beat This-Falling-By watersharky Productions and TD.

    My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya, Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love, Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up, Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up, Now you the one that I'm calling, Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking, I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya, Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough, Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya, Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya, Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, I'll never give my all again, 'Cause I'm sick of falling down, When I open up and give my trust, They find a way to break it down, Tear me up inside, and you break me down.

    WATERSHARKY DISS TRACK - by Firesharky

    You smell like you farted FARTED harded HARDED A B Honor Roll. All Fs, you r*tarded. OHHHH!

    One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"

    The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"

    And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"

    The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"

    Johnny replied with, "OK."

    Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"

    Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

    Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."

    My sister said that if you go to a random person's door, the sister will all Waze open it.

    I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

    To All The Naruto Fans:

    Sharingan is red, Rasengans are blue, If you dare touch my daughter, I'll Chidori you!

    Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

    Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

    Okay, when I leave for ONE DAY something happens like people being sexist and men saying that women are weak (Which is Not True), AND rape. I hate hearing and really saying the word. Just stop with all this nonsense. I say rape and sexist and woman assault jokes should not be allowed. They are too cruel and mean to women. Most men are weaker than women. So don't anyone make anymore things or "jokes" about rape. Women are strong and don't be mean to them.

    Sincerely, watersharky (How did I not misspell????)

    Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-

    My buddies think I'm on the lake.

    Boss thinks I've been sick for days.

    And mama's probably on her way

    'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.

    I've been a million places,

    But they're all up in my head.

    Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

    I've been gone, I've been gone

    I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

    All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

    Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

    Sadder than a country song.

    Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

    Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

    Took a trip down memory lane.

    Checked into hotel heartbreak.

    Passed rock bottom on the way

    Without leaving my living room.

    I've been a million places

    But they're all up in my head.

    Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

    I've been gone, I've been gone

    I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

    All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

    Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

    Sadder than a country song.

    Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

    Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

    Yeah

    I've been gone.

    All the clothes are on the floor

    All the mail's by the door

    All the whiskey bottles in my bed.

    All the dishes in the sink

    All the gas is in the tank

    All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.

    I've been gone, I've been gone

    I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

    All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

    Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

    Sadder than a country song.

    Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

    Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

    I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

    Gone

    Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van!

    It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go, but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come.

    We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! "Hey they want to party with us!" Timmy yelled over the whooping. "Party van!" I yelled.

    Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said "P O L I C E” on the side.

    We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. "Isn’t that right mommy?"

    Hi! I would like to befriend all the nice people on this website! (Watersharky, Gwen, Addison Banks, etc.)

    I'm just gonna say it, and don't get offended, but I'm so sick of the media being on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.

    Yes, women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth, etc.

    But men have it pretty hard too, if not harder. Males are criticized for showing emotions.

    Men have to go to war on the front lines.

    Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.

    Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer, meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven't ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It's because no one will take a man's protest seriously because the media is always against the men.

    Man-rape is unheard of in the media, and I've never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.

    We are expected to gather up our guts [and] ask a girl to be their girlfriend. We have to take them on dates, pay the bill, [and] buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months' worth of the money the man has made.

    And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.

    It's because most males do not want females to get hurt, yet we are criticized for this.

    I propose an idea that on the 19th of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work, etc.

    Who's going to put out all the fires? The two "firewomen" at the local fire station? Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary's and the receptionist?

    Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they're are no men around. Let's show them how wrong they are.

    (This event can be done worldwide.)

    Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.

    (I'm not against feminism; it's just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.

    But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want, and never get criticized or face any consequences.)