Shower thoughts

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A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.