Manga fan

Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.

How to know something won’t be fun:

Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"

Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose.

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Rip boiled water you will be mist.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in!

The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.

The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.