A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
Death&Decay
Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you.. From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own
What do you do during a shooting? why join in of course....
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also In a way kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wished you could F but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't...............
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
WHY TF WAS MY SHOOTING JOKE REMOVED? IT WAS FUNNY AND THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A WEBSITE FOR MORBID HUMOR WTF I MEAN WORSTJOKESEVER.COM. COME ON......
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued your blood was delectable and so was the rest of you.
My boy I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now! *draws a picture of his "epic" sword* "what......WHAT..... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
My grief counsellor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
I don't have much motivation for things that's why i haven't yet killed myself hehe
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes , I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane
Your mommas so depressed she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die
Knock knock! who's there? baby! baby who? do u want to eat this baby that i have prepared? no thanks i already ate.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to KILL MYSELF I'd be a millionaire.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"