what does Stephen hawking have in common with a bull ? they both charge
:)
A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "no you'd never bring it back!"
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes so I said I’ll cut it out
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes and I replied with its not that deep
what did the bomber say the the jet?
sorry bro, I gotta bomb. *WAIT NO-*
A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked "Dad, what are you wearing?". The father would answer with "A costume for Halloween.". the child asked "can i join?". He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
What does shrek and onions have in common?
* L A Y E R S *
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed, and got eaten by the bat.
A Grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.....The Bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you". The Grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader? Because he's their father.
why is Delta jealous? Because Omnicron took the final kill.
Q: What do you call a sad soda? A: Soda-pressing.
If you kill someone, that's murder. If you kill a family member, that's still murder. If you kill a child, that's "child abuse"
at 6 she wanted a happy mama at 8 she hated acting like a mom at 10 she was wanted to see her own smile agian at 11 she wanted to see her mom
When you lock the door, but you realize its a pull open door:
the toaster otherwise the perfect bath bomb.
AR-15: who are you!? Musket:*im you, but from another timeline.*
Who ended Franz Ferdinand's COD account?
He ended with a Black Handed bang.
Wow that is so sunny