Sacristy jokes

Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.

Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.

Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."

How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.