If you have a twin sister do you have the same name? Only if you’re mom and dad give you the same name
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
Doctor: You're as healthy as a horse! Jimmy: That's great! Doctor: A horse with cancer.
what does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
they're both predators
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're InDepEndent womem after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist. Or join in the fun
Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "The're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes."
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage. Child: But why? Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
How do you make a orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till they're parents come home
what do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common
they're both hookers
What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!
I’m not saying you’re ugly, but you’re the reason God created miscarriages!
You’re hairlines so far back that Dora the explorer couldn’t find it
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
why was the T-rex so angry?You would be angry too,if you’re arms were to short to masterbaute.
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents we're taken so her shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: Can I play with your bellybutton my mom always let's me when we camp. So the teacher says: Sure 5 minutes later the teacher says: Woah Woah Woah that's not my bellybutton! Little Johnny says: Woah Woah Woah thats not my finger.
When you tell your Roblox girlfriend you’re breaking up with her and then 10 seconds later you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
You're so skinny you could travel through fax
