Night Shift jokes

What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?

Guardian of the confessional booth.

Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.

I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.

I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!

I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".

A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.

She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.

The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.

The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"

Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"

My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...