Worst Jokes Ever

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OzzyTheDinoo

The image shows two frames side-by-side. In the left frame, Morty from Rick and Morty is sleeping peacefully with his eyes closed and a neutral expression. In the right frame, he is sitting up in bed with his eyes wide and mouth slightly open, looking surprised. The text above the images reads, "when I randomly remember one of my shirts I haven't seen in a while".

Heroin Monkey

A man smiles in two panels, the first with a raised index finger, and the second with a smirk. Above the first panel, the text says: "In Swedish, the word 'gråtrunka' means to cry while masturbating." Below the second panel, the text says: "The fact that they actually have a word for that is a real tear jerker."

Willy b

A dark, grainy image of a large group of people sitting and standing. The people are dressed in old-fashioned clothes and have white glowing eyes. Text at the bottom of the image reads: "A small town in Kansas was destroyed from a tornado. While looking through the rubble, the first responders found this picture."

Heroin Monkey

When the FBI kicks down your door
while you beating your meat to the 500
terabytes of polygender midget furry
austismic monkey porn that you stole
+Kaylie D
My time has come

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

sus

The image is a black and white picture of John F. Kennedy with text overlay that reads: "MY FAVORITE SEX POSITION IS THE JFK. I SPLATTER ALL OVER HER WHILE SHE SCREAMS AND TRIES TO GET OUT OF THE CAR."

Chexers

The image shows two side-by-side panels. The left panel shows actor Giancarlo Esposito smiling with a text above it that reads: "Farting while pooping." The right panel shows Giancarlo Esposito with a concerned expression and the text above that reads: "Pooping while farting."

Anonymous

Dad: Do you wanna know what your sister said while she
lost her virginity?
Son: Dad, please stop this is inappropriate
Dad: Exactly

MEME LORD

I need a female to fart in my mouth -
m4w - 34 (Detroit)
age: 34
I want a big beautiful black lady here in
Detroit to fart in my mouth with gas. I just
want you to get on the couch and bend over so
I can open my mouth wrap my lips around
your asshole. I need you to fart loud and long
filling up my mouth, while I mastubate.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of two Instagram posts. The first post, from user fatgirlhedonist, says "Idk who needs to hear this, but I switched from buying coffee every day to making it at home 2 years ago and I'm still not a millionaire." The second post, from user brianmstewart, is pinned and replies "I have studied the habits of millionaires. While it is a good step to save money by making coffee at home, have you considered supplementing your income by committing massive fraud?"

Heroin Monkey

A tweet that reads: "Burger King and Popeye's having a chicken sandwich war while being owned by the same parent company is the greatest real-life analogy for our modern American political parties."

Heroin Monkey

The image is a meme comparing the reactions of three U.S. presidents, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy, and Theodore Roosevelt, to being shot. For Ronald Reagan, the text says he "gets shot once," "cries about it," and "immediately enacts gun control like a scared baby." For John F. Kennedy, it says he "gets shot twice," "eats the first shot for breakfast," and the "second shot blows his brains all over his wife on live TV like a boss." For Theodore Roosevelt, it says he "gets shot once while giving a speech in front of a huge audience," "laughs it off," and "continues to give his speech for the next hour while roasting the would-be assassin."

Heroin Monkey

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Heroin Monkey

NEWS
Pantless driver dies
after being ejected
through his sunroof
while masturbating
to porn on a
cellphone when the
car crashed and
rolled over

Heroin Monkey

Kerri Thorpe
This is actually a disgusting video,
my sons names jaxx and regardless
of what others think of it he loves his
name. Gosh imagine making this
video while pregnant also,
embarrassing.
2d Like Reply
Natalie Anne Forde
2.2K D
Jax means toilet here in ireland
1d Like Reply
1.3K

tabs1528

The image shows a news graphic with the headline "Florida man claims he only drank at stoplights, and not while driving" along with the text "arrested for DUI" and a mugshot of Earle Stevens.

Heroin Monkey

A collage of screenshots of Scotty Kilmer's YouTube videos. Each video has a different theme: using fuel additives when one can't afford beer, being drunk, and keeping secrets. The word "Secret" is overlaid twice on two different videos. The word "Drunk" is overlaid on one video.

gyattohio

William Dafoe smiles widely as the words of the meme are written above him.

Adolf Nigler

Diddy's favorite game to play while in prison:

The image shows the video game "Crazy Miners".

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot from what looks like a children's show, showing a man in an orange shirt in the center with Elmo and another muppet next to him. The text says: "While the rest of them are telling Mr. Johnson not to jump, Elmo antagonizes him by telling him he fucked his wife too."

Heroin Monkey

A billboard on a highway with multiple cars in the foreground. The billboard reads: "Texting while driving KILLS. For more driving tips, text "SAFETY" to 79191."

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