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Sooploosh MacSchnibble
1 year ago
homuratrash:
guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking
space, needs a heterosexual romance
disney ceo: okay....but we gotta know she's Female, do u understand?
....she needs long antennae..like long hair..mascara...smooth chest that
sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got
titties even tho she's a tiny fucking alien
guy at disney: should we make her pink, sir?
disney ceo: ricky you goddamn genius. here are my keys. go to my house
and fuck my wife
  • 0
  • Sooploosh MacSchnibble
    1 year ago
    A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."
  • 0
  • Sooploosh MacSchnibble
    1 year ago
    A four-panel cartoon shows a father talking to his son in the first panel, saying "...and under no circumstance should you ever hit a woman." The second panel shows the son, now an adult, sitting on a bed with a woman in front of him on all fours and saying "Spank me, Kenny." The third panel shows Kenny saying "No." The fourth panel shows the father behind Kenny saying "I'm proud of you, son."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows text stating "I ran out of condoms and lube. But, no worries, I've got back up." Above the "But, no worries" line, there is an image of lube and condoms, and below it, there are images of Ziploc bags, rubber bands, and WD-40.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a portrait of Walt Whitman, with the text "Teach a man how to fish, and you can bang his wife every weekend. - Walt Whitman" above him.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The text says "Schrödinger's blowjob?" followed by a description of a hypothetical scenario. It states that while blindfolded one receives the best blowjob ever. The identity of the person is not known and it could be anyone such as Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold or even the fireman's cat. The question asked is if you would take off the blindfold to find out, or just leave it on.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A three-panel image from the movie Harry Potter. In each panel, Albus Dumbledore stands in a white space. The first panel reads, "Do not pity the dead Harry,". The second panel reads, "Pity the living.". The third panel reads, "And above all else, pity those that look at the top right corner."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    LeBron James is pictured in a close up shot. Below is text that reads: Hey LeBron! Who would win a twerk off, but naked and covered in oil? Helen Keller or Martin Luther king jr.?
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    An older man with white hair and glasses wearing a red sweater is holding cards and looking down in a classroom. He has a white bag with the text "recycle me" next to him. In the foreground, a paper on a desk reads "Nobody likes you -R". In the background, a few students are sitting at desks.
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image displays a text-based meme with various sound effects listed as bullet points, followed by the text 'WHERE WE PLAY NOTHIN BUT ROCK, ROCK, AND MORE ROCK'. This is followed by more sound effects and finally, 'THIS AIN'T YOUR GRANNY'S STATION *imagine dragons - radioactive starts playing*'. To the left of this is a grayscale picture of a man with headphones, with the text '64 KB JPG' under it. At the top, the post is marked as 'Anonymous', along with the date '03/29/22(Tue)13:17:38' and a post number.
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    The image shows a text stating, "There are 2 types of people," followed by two comments. The first comment, by "Heroin Monkey," reads, "daddy diddy is cumming." The second comment, by "rylee!!," reads, "I get this is a jokes site but other people have convos as well on here. It's not just me and ethan so please stop."
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    "Why do you love being a woman?"
@sourpsycho
Women are like bacon. They smell good,
They taste good, and they will kill you slowly
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A picture shows a priest on the left and Woody from Toy Story on the right. The text on the image asks, "What's the difference between a priest and Woody?" The punchline is below: "Woody goes limp when a child enters the room!"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A very dirty and damaged toilet is shown for sale. The text reads: "Used and abused toilet $15 Listed over a week ago in Buffalo, MN."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A drawing of a person reading a book to another person in bed. Above the drawing there is a text that reads, "Then the 92nd pig built his house out of depleted uranium and the wolf was like,". Below this text there is a distorted face.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of two Instagram posts. The first post, from user fatgirlhedonist, says "Idk who needs to hear this, but I switched from buying coffee every day to making it at home 2 years ago and I'm still not a millionaire." The second post, from user brianmstewart, is pinned and replies "I have studied the habits of millionaires. While it is a good step to save money by making coffee at home, have you considered supplementing your income by committing massive fraud?"
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    A person is shown with their mouth wide open, screaming. Above the person, the text reads: "Liberals after finding out girls menstruate and not womenstruate."
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    A chubby boy with a serious facial expression is flexing his arm muscles. The text on the image reads: "I'M ON A SEAFOOD DIET I SEE FOOD AND I EAT IT."
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    A Black man is celebrating a victory. Text in the image reads: "A Black Man won a Tour De France stage, for the first time in its 111 year history and y'all ain't loud enough, this is EPIC!". There is a logo for "Essence of Black Culture". There is additional text overlaid at the bottom that reads: "Drugs test the c***, then return the bike to it's rightful owner."
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    The meme shows a split image. The top part is a screenshot of a character from Team Fortress 2 on the phone, saying "I don't care if I only hit his bloody ear. I want my cash, and I want my immunity, Joe, that was the bloody deal, alright? Did you not take your pills this morning or something, Joe?". The bottom part shows Joe Biden on the phone in front of a field filled with forklifts, saying "No, no, I just want to find out if I can return 23 forklifts here. This morning men unloaded them onto my lawn and demanding money. No warning. I just want to know where I can send them back."
  • 0
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