All memes

Life

Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?

The image contains a conversation between Alastor and Charlie. Alastor says, "You know, Charlie, thanks to your hotel scheme, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and death." Charlie replies, "Yes! Good, Al! Like what?" Alastor then lists, "All the usual things: my first ever radio broadcast, helping my mother cook, and being the first ever person to actually strangle someone with their intestines."

Wheelchair

Once upon a time, there was a man named Jake who woke up one morning to find his wife and her wheelchair missing. He searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, he put up posters all over town offering a reward.

A yellow sign with black stripes around the edges. It reads: ATTENTION, WIFE AND WHEELCHAIR MISSING! REWARD FOR WHEELCHAIR. It also says, FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM FOR MORE @GOINGONCETWICESOLD

Shit

When some1 talks shit about you, simply say, "I'm surprised that your teeth aren't brown from all the shit talking you do"

A young woman with long brown hair, wearing a red shirt, gives the middle finger with both hands. The background is white.