Live one jokes

What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.

What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.

What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.

Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.

What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

100 dead babies in a trash can.

What is worse than that?

There's a live one at the bottom.

What is worse than that?

It eats its way out.

What is worse than that?

It comes back for seconds.

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.