Joke

Yo mama so dumb that she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet.

Yo mama so dumb she watches “The Three Stooges” and takes notes.

Yo mama so dumb it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo mama so dumb she sits on the TV and watches the couch!

Yo mama so dumb she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo mama so dumb it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.

Yo mama so dumb she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.

Yo mama so dumb when your dad said it was chilly outside she team outside with a spoon.

Yo mama so dumb she got fired from the M&M factory because she threw away all the W’s.

Yo mama so dumb she sold her car to get gasoline money.

Yo mama so dumb she sold the house to pay the mortgage.

Yo mama so dumb she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

Yo mama so dumb she had to call the operator so she could get the phone number for 911.

Yo mama so dumb that they had to burn down the school to get her out of second grade.

Yo mama so dumb when you stand next to her you hear the ocean.

Yo mama so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved.

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.

Yo mama so dumb that not even Google could translate her.

Yo mama so dumb she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

Yo ma so dumb she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger that they are selling at McDonald’s.

Yo mama so dumb she sprayed a tree with axe body spray and thought it would fall down.

Yo mama so dumb she bought tickets to Xbox Live.

Yo mama so dumb she wore a coat to Dairy Queen because of all of the blizzards that they have.

Yo mama so dumb that when she had to leave a voicemail she decided to walk all the way to my house and decided to scream inside my mailbox.

Yo mama so dumb she stood on a chair to raise her IQ.

Yo mama so dumb she thinks menopause is button on a VCR.

Yo mama so dumb she goes to the Apple Store to get a Big Mac meal.

Yo mama so dumb that she thinks that the Harlem Shake is a drink.

Yo mama so dumb that when the doctor told her shame had the coronavirus she brought a new laptop.

Yo mama so dumb she stuck a phone up her ass to make a booty call.

Yo mama so dumb she cut open a pineapple and wondered where SpongeBob was.

Yo mama so dumb she thought Spotify was a stain remover.

Yo mama so dumb she went to the doctor to buy an IPad.

Yo mama so dumb she thought the coronavirus happened after you drank too many Coronas.

Yo mama so dumb the first time she used a vibrator she broke her two front teeth.

Yo mama do dumb when the judge said to order she asked for pie and chips.

Yo mama so dumb she put cat food down her pants to feed her pussy.

Yo mama so dumb I said drinks are on the house and she went to go get a ladder.

Yo mama so dumb she disses her kids with Yo Mama jokes.

Yo mama so dumb when the smoke alarm turned off she tried to turn it back on by starting a fire.

Yo mama sooooooooo dumb she brought a bible to Church’s Chicken.

Yo mama so dumb that she put a battery in water so that she could make an energy drink.

Yo mama so dumb that the weatherman said there will be a blizzard outside she got a cup.

Yo mama so dumb that she put two M&Ms in her ears and thought that she was listening to Eminem.

Yo mama so dumb she took her dog to Pet Smart to get an IQ test.

Yo mama so dumb she sued Xbox One for guessing her IQ.

Yo mama so dumb she went to go to the dentist so that she could get her Bluetooth fixed.

Yo mama so dumb she made an appointment with Diet Dr. Pepper to get thinner.

Yo mama so dumb she brought a ladder to high school.

Yo mama so dumb that when I said that the act was stealing the show she called the police.

Yo mama so dumb she thinks gluteus Maximus is a roman emperor.

Yo mama so dumb she looked in the mirror and said “What the fuck are you looking at?!”

Yo mama so dumb that she put sugar on her bed because she wanted to have sweet dreams.

Yo mama so dumb that she gave birth to you on the I-75 because she heard that’s where accidents happen.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball game.

Yo mama so dumb she thought a quarterback was an ATM.

Yo mama so dumb that when the questionnaire asked sex, she put M, F, and sometimes Thursday.

Yo mama so dumb she put a watch inside the piggy bank and sIde she was saving time.

Yo mama so dumb that when I peed in the snow she picked it up and thought it was a snow cone.

Yo mama so dumb that she is like a glowstick, in people want to shake the hell out of her until the light turns on.

Yo mama so dumb and so broke that when I told her to get the Febreeze she went outside and asked where the free breeze was.

Yo mama so dumb that I told her to check out the cool new website and she got a broom and asked where the spider was.

Yo mama so dumb that I told her Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.

Yo mama so dumb she went to the library to find Facebook.

Yo mama so dumb that Willy Wonka couldn’t sugar coat it.

Yo mama so dumb that I asked her if she knew Pharrell from the Neptunes and she said that she only knows people from Earth.

Yo mama so dumb she got fired from a blow job.

Yo mama do dumb that when the cop pulled her over and gave her a ticket she asked what movie they were going to see.

Yo mama so dumb that she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg’s holiday album.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

Yo mama so dumb that when she went to take 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Yo mama so dumb she took an umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo mama so dumb that under education on her job application, she put that she was hooked on phonics.

Yo mama so dumb that she put lipstick on her forehead while trying to makeup her mind.

Yo mama so dumb that when she watches “The Three Stooges” she takes notes.

Yo mama so dumb it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the sign at the movie theater that said under 17 not admitted, she went home and got 16 of her friends.

Yo mama so dumb that she talks in N envelope while trying to send a voicemail.

Yo mama so dumb that when your dad said it was chilly outside she ran outside with a spoon.

Yo mama so dumb she told everyone she was “illegitiment” because she couldn’t read.

Yo mama so dumb that she puts lipstick on her head just so she could make up her mind.

Yo mama so dumb that when she hears it’s chilly outside she grabs a bowl and a spoon.

Yo mama so dumb that she got her fingers stuck inside a website.

Yo mama so dumb that she went to the beach to surf the internet.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw a drive through sign at Wendy’s she drove straight through the building.

Yo mama so dumb she tried breastfeeding her cameo necklace.

Yo mama so dumb that she called me and asked me for my phone number.

Yo mama so dumb that she bought a six pack on Budweiser with her to work in hopes that she could make her son Bud Wiser

Yo mama so dumb that she tried to put M&Ms in A-Z order.

Yo mama so dumb that she put her iPad in the blender because she said that she wanted to make apple juice.

Yo mama so dumb that when she got sick she went to the shoe store to find Doc Martens.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought the Harlem Shake was a drink.

Yo mama so fat and so dumb that she tears apart computers so that she could look for cookies.

Yo mama so dumb that she had to go to the dentists to get a Bluetooth.

Yo mama so dumb that when she went to summer school and they asked her to count 1 to 40, she said 1 2 40.

Yo mama so dumb that she made a blonde look smart.

Yo mama so dumb she thought chicken strips was a strip club for chickens.

Yo mama so dumb that she brought her baby girl to a baby shower and left her.

Yo mama so dumb she failed a survey.

Yo mama so dumb you have to dig for her IQ.

Yo mama so dumb that she went to the pet store to buy some bird seed then asked the cashier how long does it take for the birds to grow.

Yo mama do dumb after your daddy hit her in the face she turned the other check and waited for him to hit her again.

You mama so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved.

Yo mama so dumb it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo mama so dumb when a guy asks her to give him head she picks up a hacksaw and says “OK let me get one first.”

Yo mama so dumb she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought The Exorcist was a workout video.

Yo mama so dumb she could trip over a cordless phone.

Yo mama so dumb she sold her car for gasoline money.

Yo mama so dumb the only letters in the alphabet she knows is K.F.C.

Yo mama so dumb she wouldn’t get a gameboy because she was a girl.

Yo mama so dumb that she tried to download WhatsApp on a public phone.

Yo mama so dumb she put cat food down her pants to feed her pussy.

Yo mama so dumb she brought a solar powered flashlight.

Yo mama so dumb people call her and her friends the blonde-tourage.

Yo mama so dumb she thought a tsunami was a kind of Japanese sushi.

Yo mama so dumb she thinks quarterback is a refund.

Yo mama so dumb her ancestors didn’t even think about making fire.

Yo mama so dumb she took a cup to see juice.

Yo mama so dumb that she went to a clippers game for a haircut.

Yo mama so dumb she put a cat in a pillow and yelled it’s a pillow pet.

Yo mama so dumb that she sold the car for gas money.

Yo mama so dumb she wouldn’t let you shop at Forever 21 because she thought that you had to be 21 to go into the store.

Yo mama so dumb she asked for the phone number for 911.

Yo mama so dumb she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so dumb when she ran out of gas she walked to the nearest Mexican restaurant and ate all of the Mexican food that she can handle.

Yo mama so dumb when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put “OK”..

Yo mama so dumb she got stabbed in a shootout.

Yo mama so dumb she stole free bread.

Yo mama so dumb she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo mama so dumb that when her friend asked her what she does for a living she said that she breathes.

Yo mama so dumb she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo mama so dumb that she died because she thought suicide was a career option.

Yo mama so dumb that she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo mama so dumb that she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo mama so dumb she thought she needed a token to get on the Soul Train.

Yo mama so dumb she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish Holiday.

Yo mama so dumb she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

Yo mama so dumb she tried to put her M&M’s in alphabetical order.

Yo mama so dumb that she tried to schedule an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

Yo mama so stupid if you knocked on her forehead you could hear an echo.

Yo mama do dumb she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

Yo mama so dumb she thinks brownies are people with brown skin.

Yo mama so dumb she filled her car with water so she can drive in the Car Pool lane.

Yo mama so dumb when she studied pi in school she brought a plate to class.

Yo mama so dumb that when I told her a tsunami hit, she asked why I didn’t hit back.

Yo mama so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo mama so dumb she threw cats out the window when you said that we needed cat litter.

Yo mama so stupid that I told her I was dying of laughter and she took me to the hospital.

Yo mama so dumb that when the doctor asked her if she is sexually active, she said that she just lays there, so that is a no.

Yo mama so dumb she is living proof that humans can live without a brain.

Yo mama so dumb that calling her stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

Yo mama so dumb she told me everything she knows during a commercial break.

Yo mama so dumb that if I need a brain transplant, then I would take hers, because it’s barely used at all.

Yo mama so dumb that if you stand close enough to her you can hear the ocean.

Yo mama so dumb that if her brain was chocolate then it would fill an M&M.

Yo mama so dumb I would ask her how old she is, but I know she can’t count that high.

Yo mama so dumb the smartest thing to come out of her mouth was a penis.

Yo mama so dumb the government banned her from homeschooling her kids.

Yo mama so dumb she thought Starbucks was a bank.

Yo mama so dumb she is the reason women only make 75 cents on the dollar.

Yo mama so dumb she thought a ring pop was lipstick.

Yo mama so dumb after an earthquake she ran to the barn hoping to get a milkshake out of Betsy.

Yo mama so dumb that when she was asked for her ID, at the liquor store, she asked how to spell it.

Yo mama so dumb she went to PetSmart hoping they could teach her new dog old tricks.

Yo mama so dumb she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.

Yo mama so dumb that after she went 3 days searching for her wedding ring, she realized she was divorced.

Yo mama so dumb that after jumping out of the plane she realized that she was supposed to have a parachute on.

Yo mama so dumb that while she was playing Monopoly before passing go she stopped and looked both ways.

Yo mama so dumb she rented a hot air balloon so she can watch the men play air hockey.

Yo mama so dumb that after a woman ordered a Margarita at a bar she swam out to the Gulf of Mexico to get Margaret.

Yo mama so dumb that when I asked her if she wanted to go to Wendy’s she said “No I don’t know that bitch.”

Yo mama so dumb she tried to water the Rose Bowl Parade.

Yo mama so dumb she went to the travel Agency and asked to purchase a one way ticket to the moon.

Yo mama so dumb when the man suggested a one night stand she ran to the garage and chopped off three of the night tables’ legs.

Yo mama so dumb she told me to meet her at the corner of “Walk” and “Don’t walk”.

Yo mama so dumb when she heard there was a serial killer on the loose she got Captain Crunch and protected him by putting him in the closet.

Yo mama so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

Yo mama so dumb if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you’d get change back.

Yo mama so dumb she tried to Hotwire a trolley.

Yo mama so dumb that when she was waitressing the customer asked for a Ruben sandwich. Yo mama then went to Ruben and took his sandwich.

Yo mama so dumb when she saw a stop sign she never moved again.

Yo mama so dumb they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

Yo mama so dumb when she saw “sign here” at the end of the application, she put “Taurus.”

Yo mama so dumb she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

Yo mama so dumb when she volunteered for a race she forgot her shoes.

Yo mama so dumb if she spoke her mind she would probably be speechless.

Yo mama so dumb she studied for a blood test and failed.

Yo mama so dumb she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo mama so dumb it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo mama so dumb she put paper on the TV and called it paper view.

Yo mama so dumb that when she heard that 90 percent of all crimes occur around the home, she decided that she was going to move and she did.

Yo mama so dumb when she saw a sign that said “Airport Left” she went home.

Yo mama so dumb that she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

Yo mama so dumb that when she went to fill out her job application and it asked for her sex she wrote “not really.”

Yo mama so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo mama so dumb she jumped into the ocean and tried to get a sea section.

Yo mama so dumb she thought grape nuts was a venereal disease.

Yo mama so dumb she couldn’t see the forest because the trees were blocking it.

Yo mama so dumb she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.

You mama so dumb she thought an elevator was a roller coaster.

Yo mama so dumb she ordered a cheeseburger at McDonald’s and said to hold the cheese.

Yo mama so dumb she went to Dr. Dre for a Pap smear.

Yo mama so dumb she thought Hamburger Helper came with another person.

Yo mama so dumb that when she heard the middle of the road is where accidents happen, she went there and peed herself.

Yo mama so dumb she studied for a blood test and failed.

Yo mama so dumb she thinks socialism means partying.

Yo mama so dumb she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama so dumb that she got hit by a punchline.

Yo mama so dumb that if you gave her a penny for her thoughts you’d get change.

Yo mama so dumb she thought she had an appointment with Dr Pepper.

Yo mama so dumb that she was on the corner giving out potato chips yelling “Free Lays!”

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Tiger Woods was a forest in India.

Yo mama so dumb that when I was drowning I asked for a life saver, she said “Cherry or Grape?”

Yo mama so dumb that when the computer said “Press any key to continue” she couldn’t find the “any” key.

Yo mama so dumb she tried to drown a fish.

Yo mama so dumb she threw a bird off a cliff.

Yo mama so dumb she got locked in a bathroom and shit herself.

Yo mama so dumb when you told her you had crabs she said I don’t know if those are good pets but okay!

Yo mama so dumb she took a donut back because it had a hole in it.

Yo mama so dumb she brought curtains for her computer because it has windows.

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a parked car,

Yo mama so dumb when she shivers you can hear a rattling coming from her head.

Yo mama so dumb that she went to the doctor because she couldn’t see her ass.

Yo mama so dumb she cut holes in her umbrella to see if it was raining.

Yo mama so dumb she thought Cat Mix was a CD.

Yo mama so dumb that she draws eyes on glasses for the word “eyeglasses.”

Yo mama so dumb she went to Dick’s to buy a duck for sex.

Yo mama so fat that when she was born she gave the whole entire hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama so fat that as she was walking down the aisle her wedding dress ripped.

Yo mama so fat that it took 5 women to help her get into her wedding.

Yo mama so fat that she had to have sex with 6 men to conceive you.

Yo mama so fat that it took 4 women to birth her.

Yo mama so fat that it took 7 men to help her give birth to you.

Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the elevator she has to go down.

Yo mama so fat that every time she tried to use the escalator it turned into a ramp.

Yo mama so fat her car has stretch marks on it.

Yo mama so fat that even her clothes have stretch marks on them.

Yo mama so fat that not even Dora can explore her.

Yo mama so fat that when she got on the scale it said “I need your weight not your phone number.”

Yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.

Yo mama so fat that while she was at the beach a whale swam up to her and started to sing “We are family, even though you’re father than me.”

Yo mama so fat that when God said “Let there be light”, he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Yo mama so fat that when she fell no one laughed but the ground cracked up.

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on Walmart she lowered the prices.

Yo mama so fat that her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo mama so fat that when she skips a meal the stock market drops.

Yo mama so fat it took me 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.

Yo mama so fat and that when she goes camping the bears hide their food.

Yo mama so fat that if she buys a fur coat of any sort a whole species of that animal will become extinct.

Yo mama so fat she stepped on the scale and it said “To be continued.”

Yo mama so fat I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat that when she wears high heels she strikes oil.

Yo mama so fat that she was overthrown by a small militia group and now she is known as the Republic of Yo Mama.

Yo mama so fat that she gets group insurance l.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC and the cashier asked what size bucket she wanted she said “The one on the roof please!”

Yo mama so fat her belt size is equator.

Yo mama so fat that when she talks to herself it’s a long distance call.

Yo mama so fat that when she left the house this morning she was wearing high heels and when she came back to the house later that day she was wearing flip flops.

Yo mama so fat that when she hauls ass it takes her two trips.

Yo mama so fat that her job title is Spoon and Fork Operator.

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed 3 episodes of ICarly.

Yo mama so fat that she when she walked past the TV, I missed a whole season of Victorious.

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed a whole episode of Sam and Cat.

Yo mama so fat that her farts caused global warming.

Yo mama so fat that her shits are longer than King Kong’s fingers.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally SITS AROUND the house.

Yo mama so fat that she can’t even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama so fat that her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama so fat that if she was a character from the Star Wise franchise, her name would be Admiral Snackbar.

Yo mama so fat she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama so fat that I tried to hug her and got stuck.

Yo mama so lazy that she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

Yo mama so lazy she’s got a remote control just to operate her own remote.

Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.

Yo mama so lazy that she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind blow it for her so she didn’t have to do it.

Yo mama so lazy that she has a stay at home job but she still can’t get to work on time.

Yo mama so lazy she makes Garfield look like Lebron James.

Yo mama so lazy that she arrived late at her own funeral.

Yo mama so lazy that she at all the lunch meat and didn’t bother to pack you a lunch.

Yo mama so fat that she ate all the lunch meat and didn’t bother to pack you a lunch.

Yo mama so lazy that she stole your identity just so she could spend some more time with you.

Yo mama so lazy that her constant quandary is “Should I sit down and do nothing or should I lie down and do nothing?”

Yo mama so lazy that the only letters of the alphabet that she knows are NO.

Yo mama so lazy that she doesn’t like to walk to the bathroom and it’s only 2 feet away.

Yo mama so lazy that she doesn’t have the time to argue with you right now.

Yo mama so lazy that she woke up from a coma and went to sleep.

Yo mama so lazy she has sweatpants for every day of the week.

Yo mama so lazy that if your house was on fire she would rather stay there and lose her life by burning to death than go all the way to a door or a window or somewhere where she can escape.

Yo mama so lazy that if she was a kangaroo she would be a couch potato.

Yo mama so lazy her to do list is one word long “nothing”

Yo mama so fat the only pull-ups she does is in the drive thru.

Yo mama so lazy that the only pull-ups she does is in the drive thru.

Yo mama so lazy she went without a year of eating just because the dishes weren’t clean.

Yo mama so lazy that she doesn’t have a dining table because she always eats in bed.

Yo mama so lazy she lets serious shit slide… down her leg and into her slippers.

Yo mama so lazy the only thing she gets excited about is cancelled plans.

Yo mama so lazy she undercooks ramen noodles.

Yo mama so lazy her patronus is a sloth.

Yo mama so lazy she won the Netflix marathon.

Yo mama so mean that the only letters of the alphabet that she knows are PMS.

Yo mama so mean your bath toys were an iron and a toaster.

Yo mama so mean they don’t giver her happy meals at McDonald’s.

Yo mama so fat she ate Mr. Grouper and made the Bubble Guppies cry.

Yo mama so mean she ate Mr. Grouper and made the Bubble Guppies cry.

Yo mama so mean I added her name in a text and it autocorrected to bitch.

Yo mama so mean she drinks a bottle of your tears.

Yo mama so mean that Taylor Swift wrote a song about her.

Yo mama so mean that she takes more steroids than A-Rod just to give you a proper whopping.

Yo mama so fat that her only friend on Facebook is McDonald’s.

Yo mama so mean that her only friend on Facebook is McDonald’s.

Yo mama so mean that she told your friends at school that you had lice when you wouldn’t rub her hairy feet.

Yo mama so mean that even Simon Cowell is afraid to say anything bad about her.

Yo mama so mean that when she wears green people think she is the Incredible Hulk.

Yo mama so mean that Ramsey Bolton is her son.

Yo mama so mean that the devil gave her her soul back.

Yo mama so mean that she makes Regina from “Mean Girls” look like a sweetheart.

Yo mama so fat that when scientists found her swimming they thought they discovered the first megladon.

Yo mama so mean that when scientists found her swimming they thought they discovered the first megladon.

Yo mama so mean that she makes Nancy Grace look like Mary Poppins.

Yo mama so old she is the original Angry Bird.

You mama so mean she is the original Angry Bird.

Yo mama so mean she tells to mama jokes to orphans.

Yo mama so mean that not even Lord Voldemort would mention her name ever.

Yo mama so mean that she makes the wicked witch of the west look like Glinda the Good Witch.

Yo mama so mean that even Pennywise would run away from her.

Yo mama so mean she can’t use the internet because of the cyber bullying laws.

Yo mama so mean that she could scare the shit out of the litter box.

Yo mama so fat that the only nice thing she ever had to say was that she loves chicken.

Yo mama so mean the only nice thing she ever had to say was that she loves chicken.

Yo mama so mean the devil wouldn’t let her go to hell and Jesus made her live forever.

Yo mama so mean that the only place that she had ever visited in her entire life was the principals office.

Yo mama so mean that she gave Freddy Krueger nightmares.

Yo mama so mean that the only letters of the alphabet that she knows are FU.

Yo mama so mean that while I was looking up the definition of the word “bitch” I found her name.

Yo mama so mean that Regina from Mean Girls is her sister.

Yo mama so mean that not even Gordon Ramsey liked her.

Yo mama so mean that after her fiancé left her at the alter, she walked out on her kids and moved back in with her ex boyfriend.

Yo mama so mean that she tells you she’s teaching you a life lesson, but the real lesson is to stay away from yo mama.

Yo mama so mean that your bath toys were an iron and a toaster.

Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age and she died.

Yo mama so old her social security number is 1.

Yo mama so old that they didn’t teach history when she was in school.

Yo mama so old she has a picture of God carved into her yearbook.

Yo mama so old her last name was “Osaurus.”

Yo mama so old she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

Yo mama so old Jurassic Park brought back memories.

Yo mama so old that archaeologists found ancient pottery in her vagina.

Yo mama so old she babysat Yoda.

Yo mama so old she doesn’t have a camel toe she has a chicken gizzard.

Yo mama so old her memory is in black and white.

Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was just a prince.

Yo mama so old she she’s Google for naming their search engine after her age.

Yo mama so old she farts dust.

Yo mama so old she shits rust.

Yo mama so old she tried to make a TikTok and broke her hip.

You mama so old her birth certificate expired.

Yo mama so old she knew the Beatles when they were the New Kids On The Block.

Yo mama so old she knew Mr. Clean when he had an Afro.

Yo mama so old that she knew Gandalf before he had a beard.

Yo mama so old that she planted the first tree at Central Park.

Yo mama so old that they moved her out of the retirement home and into the museum.

Yo mama so old that she got slapped by Eve for blowing Adam.

Yo mama so old her first Christmas was the first Christmas.

Yo mama so old she still drivers her Model T.

Yo mama so fat she keeps her purse under her wrinkles.

Yo mama so old she keeps her purse under her wrinkles.

Yo mama so old that she remembers when the Grand Canyon was just a ditch.

Yo mama so old the back of her head looks like a raisin.

Yo mama so old she co-wrote the Ten Commandments.

Yo mama so old she helped name the planets.

Yo mama so old she rode dinosaurs to school.

Yo mama so old she died 100 years ago.

Yo mama so old she dated George Washington in freshman year.

Yo mama so old she dated Abraham Lincoln in sophomore year.

Yo mama so old she dates Ben Franklin in junior year.

Yo mama so old she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

Yo mama so old she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten.

Yo mama so old she sat next to Moses in first grade.

Yo mama so old she watched Jesus being born.

Yo mama so old she watched Jesus being crucified.

Yo mama so old that she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo mama so old she was the DJ at the Boston Tea Party.

Yo mama so old that she shits out fossils.

Yo mama so old that her first job was shoveling shit on Noah’s Ark.

Yo mama so old that she watched the movie 300 in real life.

Yo mama so old that she knew exactly what was going on during World War I.

Yo mama so old that she dated Hitler.

Yo mama so old that they didn’t teach math when she was in school.

Yo mama so old that she learned how to write on cave walls.

Yo mama so short that she needs shoes for her chin.

Yo mama so short that she can do backflips under the bed.

Yo mama so short that she gets mistaken for an ant.

Yo mama so short that not even Plankton will date her.

Yo mama so short that she went to see Santa and they told her to get back to work.

Yo mama so short that the only picture you have of her is under a microscope.

Yo mama so short that she hooks up with Legos.

Yo mama so short she poses for trophies.

Yo mama so short she’s Mini Me’s… Mini Me.

Yo mama so short she has to cuff her underwear.

Yo mama so short she doesn’t roll dice she pushes them.

Yo mama so short when she sneezes she hits her head on the floor.

Yo mama so short that Derrick Rose stepped on her and tore his Achilles tendon.

Yo mama so short that she can surf on a popsicle stick.

Yo mama so short she uses a sock as a sleeping bag.

Yo mama so short she gave the coronavirus a fist bump.

Yo mama so short she wakes up in a Lego house singing “Everything is Awesome.”

Yo mama so short her homies are the Keebler Elfs.

Yo mama so short she can dodge raindrops.

Yo mama so short when she sticks out her tongue she can clean her snatch.

Yo mama so short she had to stand on 3 phonebooks to blow yo dad.

Yo mama so short she leaves for work under the door.

Yo mama so short when she sits on the sidewalk her feet are still swinging.

Yo mama so short she tried to commit suicide with a pin.

Yo mama so short she makes midgets look like skyscrapers.

Yo mama so short she doesn’t have to open the door to get into the house.

Yo mama so short she has to slam dunk the bus fare.

Yo mama so tiny that some people stepped on her and they never got hurt.

Yo mama so short she lives on one of my blood cells.

Yo mama so short you can’t see her with the naked eye.

Yo mama so short microscopic organisms are her friends l.

Yo mama so short I stepped on a soda can and she said you better buy me a new toilet.

Yo mama so short that the only thing she could ever dunk was a chicken nugget.

Yo mama so short that I thought she was a broken Barbie Doll and shipped her back to Mattel, INC.

Yo mama so short that even Peter Pan and the lost boys call her a midget.

Yo mama so short that she can do a limbo dance under the door.

Yo mama so short that you can see her feet on her drivers license.

Yo mama so short she needs a backpack to carry her smartphone.

Yo mama so short when it rains she is always the last person to know.

Yo mama so short that when she does marijuana she can’t even get high.

Yo mama so small she has to ride the kiddie rides at the amusement park.

Yo mama so small she ties her shoelaces while standing.

Yo mama so short her best friend is an ant.

Yo mama so short that she had to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Yo mama so short that people call her ne(don’t)gro.

Yo mama so black that people call her ne(don’t)gro.

Yo mama so short that not even germs can find her.

Yo mama so short she travels on a toy airplane.

Yo mama so short that she can play handball on the curb.

Yo mama so short that she gets mistaken for a Barbie doll.

Yo mama so short she wears shoes for her chin.

Yo mama so short when a truck ran over her she was still alive.

Yo mamas eyes so small she uses shoelaces as blindfolds.

Yo mama so short that if she ever went missing the first place people would look for her is under the rugs.

Yo mama so short she makes Asians look like skyscrapers.

Yo mama so short she needs a step stool in order to get on a step stool.

Yo mama so short she can hand glide on a Dorito.

Yo mama so short she can sick my dick standing up.

Yo mama so short that not even ants can see her.

Yo mama so short that she do the Macarena under her bed.

Yo mama so short she can do jumping jacks under the door.