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A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."

Comments (23)

i will give you a 10 second head start

why was this so long

Sweeet

Comment below to get my nudes ;)

69, shut up. I'm in elementary.

lmfao robber better run or he’s gonna be shredded

i cant even deal with it

Jesus is nothing to joke about. What if you saved the world and somebody teased you all the time. Then how would you feel?

Fuck Jesus and God they both hate me

@Caleb wtf is wrong with you?!?!?!? Jesus and God should always be Respected no matter what, remember what a horrid time he spent throughout carrying the cross?! Stop felling sorry for yourself and read a bible for once!! 🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬

Get a life Jumpy, you sensitive fuck

Best joke I've read in a while. Rottweilers aren't as forgiving as parrots...no matter what they're called! 😅😅😅

its people like jumpy and 69 that put such a bad name on the comments