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Yo mama so black that when she wears yellow lipstick she looks like a cheeseburger.

Yo mama so black that she got in the jacuzzi and the water turned into coffee.

Yo mama so dumb that her teacher told her to get out a pen and paper so she got out a hen and raped her.

Yo mama so dumb that when she heard it was chilly outside she ran outside with a bowl and a spoon.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Dunkin Donuts was a basketball team.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Cat Valentine was a literal cat.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the movies she sat next to everybody that was there.

Yo mama so fat that when she pressed the up button for the elevator it went down.

Yo mama so fat that her only friend on Facebook is McDonald's.

Yo mama so fat that I took a picture of her in 2014 and it’s still printing.

Yo mama so fat that when I took a photo of her on my phone I ran out of storage.

You mama so fat that when she wears her blue dress people think the sky is falling.

Yo mama so fat that when she wore her orange shirt people thought she was the sun.

Yo mama so fat that she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Yo mama so fat that I tried to hang a photo of her on my wall and my wall fell over.

Yo mama so fat that a picture of her would fall off the wall.

Yo mama so fat that she went to Wendy’s tripped over McDonald’s rolled over Taco Bell and landed on Burger King.

Yo mama so fat that she went to JCPenney, tripped over Walmart, rolled over Target, and landed on KMart.

Yo mama so greasy that she sweats butter and syrup and because of this she has a job at IHOP wiping pancakes across her forehead.

Yo mama so hairy that when she went to the movie theater to see the new Star Wars movie everybody who was there thought that Chewbacca had been making a special appearance.

Yo mama so hairy that she shaves with a weed wacker.

Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 16.

Yo mama so mean that McDonald’s won’t even serve her happy meals.

Yo mama so mean that not even the grinch wants to date her.

Yo mama so mean that she put Godzilla and Kong in timeout for fighting with each other.

Yo mama so old that when they tried to write out her age they didn’t have space for anymore digits.

Yo mama so old that when I took a picture of her it came out in black and white.

Yo mama so old that when she was a child rainbows were in black and white.

Yo mama so old that when she farts dust comes out.

Yo mama so old that she sat behind Moses in freshman year.

Yo mama so old that she watched the movie 300 in real life.

Yo mama so poor that when I saw her kicking a can around I asked her what she was doing and she said that she was moving.

Yo mama so short that she leaves for work under the door.

Yo mama so skinny that when she wears her yellow dress people mistake her for a number two pencil.

Yo mama so skinny that she can wear a bracelet around her neck and not choke.

Yo mama so strict that she enforced a curfew for the whole neighborhood.

Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to eat Cupcakke the rapper.

Yo mama so stupid that she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.

Yo mama so stupid that she thought Burger King was a literal king of Burgers.

Yo mama so tall that she tripped in Nevada and hit her head in Florida.

Yo mama so ugly that she tried to look in the mirror and her reflection ran away.

Yo mama so ugly that she is the reason Spider-Man wears a mask.

Yo mama so dirty that she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

Yo mama so dirty that when she gets home the roaches sing “We are family.”

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the beach all of the whales came and sang “We are family even though you’re fatter than me.”

Yo mama so hot that when she got in the hot tub the water turned into lava.

Yo mama so cold that she is the reason the movie is called Frozen.

Yo mama so tall that Godzilla was her pet lizard.