By the way, this joke is easily found on Google, this was not created by me, I just have not seen it in these fat jokes so I thought I'd say it.
Doctor: I diagnoss you with obesitiy. Patient: It runs in the family. Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the Movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
I put the sexy in dyslexia
pepole in 1912: titanic is unstopable even god coudlnt sink this ship. god: bet where is my icebergs
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender
In preschool, i confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as i was, i sucked it up and went back to teaching.
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful fuck just sat in his wheelchair and cried
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the the dash.
what do Michael Jackson and a playstation have in common? they both get turned on by kids
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
What do girls and rocks have in common
The flat ones get skipped
what does Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
they both leave children's room with an empty sack
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
( just a joke) my grandfather was involved in 9/11 😞. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was
what did hitler and usain bolt have in common? they both finished the races
