INS jokes
After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"
Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
What does the PH stand for in "orphan"?
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Bonjour all ;-) , nd here a frog ( French) joke lol.
Qui a inventé le mètre et qui a inventé le centimètre? (Who invented the meter, and who invented the centimeter?)
Answer: Adam à inventé le mêtre, parce qu'il voulait le (mettre) de dans... (Adam invented the meter because he wanted to put it in).
Eve à inventée le centimetre, parce qu'elle voulait, le sentir-metre (centimetre) Eve invented the centimeter, because she wanted to feel it when going in...
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Is it so? Do people get freedom?
Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"