INS jokes
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.
But she has to. She's his mom.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.