INS jokes
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
Roses are red, violets are violet. I mean, come on, it's literally in the name!
What is the difference between a priest and McDonald's? Nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns.
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
How it feels to goon. But low key your mom walks in on you.
Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?
It crossed the line with Jesus.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? They were only two.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
Also gehen Addison, Gwen und Bradley alle in eine Bar. Dann schreien sie alle an, sie sollen aufhören, Bier zu trinken, weil sie es nicht mögen. Dann schreien sie den Barkeeper an und sagen, er solle das Bier nicht verkaufen, weil sie es nicht mögen. Die Kunden lachen sie als Paviane aus.
Was machen Addison, Gwen und Bradley? Sie kommen auf diese Seite und argumentieren, dass Witze zu gemein sind, und weil sie sie nicht mögen, stoppen sie jeden, der sie als WITZ macht. Das Ende.
I'm in school shooting. #USA
Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common? They're both Headless.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
A gay man enters a bar. At the counter, he sees a skinhead sitting, which he somehow finds cute. He gathers all his courage, goes to the skinhead and whispers to him, "Do you want a blowjob?"
The skinhead punches the gay man in the face with his fist, causing him to go down. Then he drags him outside into the parking lot and kicks him again with his boots before going back inside and sitting down at the counter.
"Man," says the bartender, "but you beat him up quite a bit! What did the man even say to you that you were so freaked out?"
"I don't know," replies the skinhead, "something about a job..."