In a cruel twist of Irony Stephen Hawkins Favourite song was "I've got the power".
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a Fat Man, a whole city disappeared.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm “This place looks scary” they kid said And the man replies” I know right, I have to walk out of there alone”
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize your in a crematorium.
Closer kin, deeper in !
What’s the only time you can do almost whatever you want
When you have a gun in you hand
So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys pants half off.
what do you call it when you get married in panera bread
panera wed
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
What is long and not hairy??
The congo line in the cancer department
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? RC-XD incoming.
What does a rock and a girl have in common? The flat ones get skipped
