INS jokes
Teacher: What is your name? Me: Written in the stars.
Teacher: Where? Me: A million miles away.
Teacher: What are you talking about? Me: A message to the main.
Teacher: You must change your behavior! Me: Seasons come and go, but I will never change.
Teacher: Go to the school principal NOW! Me: And I'm on my way.
Why is there A/C in hospitals?
So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.
Why can't an orphan see their parents? Because there is mayo in his dick hole.
What starts with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
A teapot.
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
By recruiting sponsors, they help them find work in their first year.
My plants in my garden are like the Twin Towers; neither of them fell, just the flowers.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg.
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Hey guys! Wanna hear a joke?
-You guys- sure
Ok! -insert every game with a copy and paste/slender in the thumbnail-
I forgot to tell Alicia I saw her mom a couple days ago.
In a porn video!
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
Who is the Hamburglar's perverted cousin?
The Turdburglar.
You really do not want to see the mess these two make of the washrooms in a fast food joint.
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."