What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it. He was the best damn pilot in saudi arabia
Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.
How did Helen keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till i realized it is a family buisness
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see then tumbling down the stairs.
What do milk and make a wish kids have in common , they both have expire dates.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying , Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died and two weeks later Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next.
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets😂👀
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player”. In Chuck Norris case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
Two artists had an art contest. -- It ended in a draw.
