Flint jokes

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

Me: I have an arrow in my head.

My friend: What's the point of that?

Me: Of the arrow?

Friend: No!

Me: Probably the flint.

My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...