Flint jokes

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

Me: I have an arrow in my head.

My friend: What's the point of that?

Me: Of the arrow?

Friend: No!

Me: Probably the flint.

My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.