Dying jokes
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
I get jealous when my phone dies.
Where do terrorists go when they die?
Answer: Everywhere.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far from the wall. The cord unplugged.
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
When did Jesus die?
On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"