Dying jokes

What do fire and people have in common?

They will both eventually die out.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

I'm logging out.

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Why did the mailman die?

Because everyone dies.

Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.

How did Steven Hawking die?

His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.

Q: What were my son's last words before he died?

A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."

How did Princess Diana die?

Giving the glove box head.

What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.

What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?

I did nazi that coming!

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.

Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?

How do you think Princess Diana died?

...Too soon?

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.

Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.

Two of my grandpas died in WW2.

Their tower fell over.