Dying Jokes

if messyourself was on the titanic he would die first

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.

i asked an emo girl "do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies"

ur mum so old that when i told her to act her age, she died

I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff

They died of happiness and a 30 story fall

What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die. What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.

So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."

Why did Steven hawking die,he ran out of data

Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation

What’s the difference between Nelson mindella and Paul Walker?

They both died at 95.

My dad died in 9/11, He was a great pilot

twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i'll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i'll die. I hope i'll born to a new hole life.

is it necrophilia if they die while your having sex and you just don't relise,

thats what happened to my dog

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

*An obese depressed mother is trying to tie a noose but can't reach it so she calls her son for help* *a few minutes later* son: there mother: where did you learn to tie such a good noose? son: dad showed me before he died mother: DAM HIM TO HE- *slips and noose chokes her to death*