my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don't stand up for her in fights I don't care she use to push me around all the time
A man comes home and hears her wife talking about having sex at the club, the man busts into the club with a revolver and says "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE" well everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says "mate you don't have enough bullets"
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any ideea how much I hate playing monopoly with my dad.
why cant orphans play baseball they don't know where home is
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes. Because they’re aimed at a younger audience
why is there only 363 days in a orphan calendar because they don't have mothers day or fathers day
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb it takes two but don't ask me how they get inside
is it necrophilia if they die while your having sex and you just don't relise,
thats what happened to my dog
Why can't two Chinese people have a white kid.
Two wongs don't make a white
I’m gonna jump to my death. Don’t worry. I won’t jump far. Just off this chair here...
There is only 363 days in a year for orphans because mother and farthers day don't count
How is the world like dirt?Because we don't think twice about it.
Doctor: you don't have long to live. 10... Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
Why don't mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing"
So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis, we talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing to her about being suicidal, she's been very helpful throughout it, I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
Why can’t orphans play poker because they don’t know what a full house is
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men right? So they are able to fight back right? Then prove it! My EQUALITEHHHHHHHH
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate' "
