A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video
Why does the military recruit orphans? Because homing missiles don’t target them
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back
I like my women the way I like my coffee and I don't drink coffee
Kobe jokes just don’t land well anymore
Bad jokes are like the Planes in 9/11, they don't land
Why are orphans Bad at poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is!
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom
What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?
I don't know! I don't care!
Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man
I don't understand why when I went to the shooting range today the police came, like bro I always go to elementary schools
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call daddy
Dad: Hey son wanna here a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbors dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life son! My life is the joke.
public speaking is a more popular fear then snakes and you don't see anyone walking in australia and shout look out a podium
Don't bother; just try to live in England.
What’s the difference between a school and an ISIS hideout? I don’t know, I just fly the drone
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike, the only difference is that in school you don't have to get deployed to get shot at
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
James: I have a joke. Sex! Ronny: I don't get it. James: Exactly.
