What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're InDepEndent womem after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist. Or join in the fun
So I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier the look on her face or that the abortion clinic let me keep her
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street",
I’m gonna jump to my death. Don’t worry. I won’t jump far. Just off this chair here...
What does food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
What's the difference between a pile of babys and a Porsche??
I don't have a Porsche in my garage
I don't have luck with other angels.
So I just WING IT!
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp? Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school??
I don't know, I just fly the drone
What did the green light say to the red light - don't look I'm changing
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
I don't like 9/11 jokes, they tend to crash and burn.
Don't be scared of skeletons
They don't have the guts for murder
