How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate.......
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
The school shooter: I finally found you worthless crybabies!! The Quiet Kid: How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same? The school shooter: I don't know. The Quiet kid: When you pull them out every body wants to be your friend.
Nah c'mon guys we don't let jokes like this fly around here
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf....ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v
He is looking for children if you don't know who edp445 is look him up
be careful around edp445
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child if you don't believe me I can pop my trunk
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp you'll B flat.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die Me : No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing i'll do
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: The highway Teacher: What do you mean Student: I don't know my mom says thats were all the accidents happen.
whats the difference between you and a fridge? the fridge don't moan when i put my meat in
I once saw a one handed man in a second hand store. I said to him: "i don't think they have what you're looking for sir"
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote " don't be dumb make sure they're numb and always use a condom!"
IF You Faked The Moon Mission Don't Apollo gise.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? -- Because they are really good at it.
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
whats do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?" Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now." Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff." Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing while a man named Chris comes up and asks “which one is yours?” The man said “I don’t know i’m still deciding.”
