I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike I just collect body parts
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A BONE-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a S-pine tree?
stop with the blind jokes...I don't see the point.
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
Schools buses usually don't have screaming and crying children
Why do heterosexual men and heterosexual women believe that bisexual men don't exist because male bisexuality doesn't exist Because it doesn't cycle 🚲
Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.
So I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.
whats the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
A Vampire goes to the Bakery:
Vampire🧛♂️: „One Bun please.“
Bäcker👩🍳: „But you're Vampire, don't you need blood 🩸 ?“
Vampir🧛♂️: „Yes, there is an accident outside and i need something to dip“
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry it's just a couple.
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? - Because they don't C#.
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordan Ramsey's F-king cooking show! Husband:STOP WATCHING THAT F-KING SHIT!!! YOU CAN'T COOK TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! WIFE: SO WHAT??! YOU WATCH PORN DON'T YOU??!!!!!!
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick" His boss replies, "you don't sound sick" The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
"Don't have sex" -Jake
Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don't have a ...
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6 year olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage
Don't criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
