Q: you want to know way I don’t make jokes about 9/11 A: They tend to crash and burn
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times 😏
I don't like these Under tale jokes. They just don't make any Sans.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
Daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?
Dad: Ask your sister
Daughter: But I don't have a sister
Dad: Exactly
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage"
If you guessed "Marriage" your stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never get's old to him. Just like the baby.
Why don’t mountains catch colds? They wear snow caps.
Dark jokes are like a new day suicidal people don’t get it
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big fat blow job.
Urban areas are fill with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause
Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don't spit.
So a daughter asks her father "dad what is you opinion on abortions?" So her father says why don't you ask your sister. The daughter responds "but I don't have a sister... Oh"
Don’t let an extra chromosome get you down
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up? Me: Oh I wan- Therapist: Don’t say to be dead Me: Well I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to sell land, pencils oh yeah. I also want to sell farm
My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."
