The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office. "I'm feeling like killing myself," he said. "Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.
The next day my dad tells me "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."
So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills." grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence." grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
Roses are red Violets are blue A face like your's belongs in a zoo don't worry i'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you.
Mother: How is my little cookie 🍪 doing?
Doctor 👩⚕️: Your cookie 🍪 is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor 👩⚕️: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes! "
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon"
what did the leper say to the prostitute? don't worry you can keep the tip.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo and she died in the tsunami. Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean".
I heard there was a kidnapping
Don't worry he woke up
In the back of a van
It was his father's
Friend who was a priest
He was just bringing him to church
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor board don't worry he was just going through a stage
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
why did the koala climb the tree?
to get to the other branch :)
He made it don't worry
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says don ́t worry there will be a third person in a little while.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her drivers test. Mom: Okay, any questions? Sara: Yes. I actally don't know what "yield " means Mom:Don't worry Hon. No one does.
I Drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
God: ok so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look like from being born to preteen. Satan:(slides in) I’ll take over for you pops. God: I dunno....this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system. Satan: don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18! God: Hmm...I’m still not-(Gets a call on his phone) shoot I got to take this. (Answers call) don’t touch anything Lucifer! (Walks away) Satan:.......(just touches lightly and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away) God:(rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?! God:(tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) fuck me........ God:....(sighs) fine it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty
When someone said to an orphan my boyfriend ghosted me the orphan says back don't worry my parents ghosted me 🤣
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday. Oh, don't worry, he's okay now. But the vet charged me six quid.
I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)
