Do jokes
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
Person A: Where do you come from?
Person B: Liberia.
Person A: *speaks softer* Oh sorry, do you come from?
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
What do you call cringe?
You.
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Rubber-toe.
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
What do you call a burnt retard?
Tomato
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
Everyone says "no homo," why do gays not say "no hetero?"
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!