Do jokes

Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.

What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?

They're both filled with happy little accidents.

Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?

American: Self defense.

Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?

Me in the middle of the night boiling water.

Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?

My brother: How?

Me: You boil the hell out of it.