Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
If it's true what they say and I quote; "God never gives you more than you can handle"
Then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul walker and no one else
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him
I liked my life when I first got it.....later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
Sans: why didn't the skeleton not go to the party? Papyrus: because they looked like me? Sans:... Sure
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
I saw a man trying to rape a girl,i decided to help, she didn't stand a chance against both of us
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like a the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How you ask? Ask the Twin Towers
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said why did you call me a female
me. mom would you get mad at me for something i didn't do. mom. no. me ok good i didn't do my homework
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Dr Fauci would be surprised to know that R Kelly didn't catch COVID-19. But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out
Boy: my girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her...
Off the nearby cliff
I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn’t read that number and you didn’t notice that a put a letter in it, no i didn’t but you went back and looked didn’t you.
