Video game company names always make me make puns I didn’t Nintendo.
When you suffer from depression and Somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: my goodness, what an idea! why didn't i think of this before
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all
My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered "Happy". The teacher said I didn't understand the test, I said to her that she didn't understand life
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay. Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across him face. Richard: No, I couldn't. Richard's mom: Why. Richard: Because he was cute.
If you don ́t like my suicidal jokes, sorry man didn ́t know it cut that deep.
If you were on the titanic and you didn’t leave the ship what would you do? Just let that sink in
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
I'm funny but sad I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....
Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if yhu jump and yell parkour, it’ll just be a failed stunt
I didn't come into the prostitution business... It came into me.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target? The drone guy didn't know either.
