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oh wait I have 70 now

Comment deleted by Jake ツ
Comment deleted by Jake ツ
Comment deleted by Jake ツ
Comment deleted by Jake ツ
Comment deleted by Jake ツ

screenshotting this and sending it to toast

I wonder how ethan's doing

Comment deleted by ⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧

there's a suspicious hole in the bottom of this kitcat

Jake ツ

there's a suspicious hole in the bottom of this kitcat

fuck it

Comment deleted by Jake ツ

now I can finally eat that snickers bar

my favorite NNN memes are the ones that are like "it's day 5 and I've become a fucking god"

mal you're still not my girlfriend right

s p e d n a r u t o _ 4 1

Jake ツ

mal you're still not my girlfriend right

correct i am not your gf

okay just double checking

Jake ツ

okay just double checking

are you gon ask that every time you see me now? 💀

mal..🦆

are you gon ask that every time you see me now? 💀

no lmao

mal..🦆

are you gon ask that every time you see me now? 💀

he down bad

Jake ツ

no lmao

lmao okay

which she wasnt but still

guys i was perry the platypus for halloween

Comment deleted by ⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧

(i swear that's not as random as it seems i was j looking at pictures)

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧

i accidentally dropped

dropped what 😏

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧

🧌

why did they make me into an emoji

Comment deleted by Jake ツ

😈 and that's amy cause it's horny

yasss amyyy where'd you gooo

Erectile dysfunction (ED), also referred to as impotence, is a form of sexual dysfunction in males characterized by the persistent or recurring inability to achieve or maintain a penile erection with sufficient rigidity and duration for satisfactory sexual activity. It is the most common sexual problem in males and can cause psychological distress due to its impact on self-image and sexual relationships. Majority of ED cases are attributed to physical risk factors and predictive factors. These factors can be categorized as vascular, neurological, local penile, hormonal, and drug-induced. Notable predictors of ED include aging, cardiovascular disease, diabetes mellitus, high blood pressure, obesity, abnormal lipid levels in the blood, hypogonadism, smoking, depression, and medication use. Approximately 10% of cases are linked to psychosocial factors, encompassing conditions like depression, stress, and problems within relationships.

bruh did everyone die? 😭

i thought the special ingredient in those borwnies was love not zaza

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧

i would die for you

😏

cause i wanna blow you up

(shitty rocketship rizzzz)

cause i wanna be your late- night snack

(shitty cannibal rizzzzzz)

are you a cell membrane? cause i wanna penetrate you with my protein through membrane diffusion

cause i wanna open you up and read your pages

are you a white van? cause i wanna stick kids inside you with my lollipop

i'd take you to the movies but im not allowed to bring my own snacks

Comment deleted by Jake ツ
Comment deleted by Jake ツ
mal..🦆

i'd take you to the movies but im not allowed to bring my own snacks

They have night vision cams in the theaters just so you know

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my dick out. “fuck, Fuck!” I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. “Please,” I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own cum, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?

Man I love looking at copypastas

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.

What schools think will happen when we see a girl’s shoulder

Jake ツ

What schools think will happen when we see a girl’s shoulder

my old catholic private school 💀

Comment deleted by Jake ツ
Comment deleted by Jake ツ

STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! My friends on TikTok send me memes, on Discord its fucking memes. I was in a server, right, and ALL the channels are just Among Us stuff. I showed my Champion underwear to my girlfriend, and the logo I flipped it and I said "Hey babe, when the underwear sus! HAHA! Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding DiDiDing!" I fucking looked at a trash can and I said "Thats a bit sussy!" I looked at my penis, I thought of the astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PEN-SUS!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~

There’s the one I was looking for

If you angerly masturbate to another guy's money and jizz in your mouth and compliment yourself for the taste when you're on your shift at work, then you've committed all 7 sins... with room to spare.

Comment deleted by Jake ツ
Comment deleted

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

Someone tell me to go fuck myself

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.

i got this new anime plot. basically there’s this high school girl except she’s got huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big ol’ tonhongerekoogers. what happens next?! transfer student shows up with even bigger bonkhonagahoogs. humongous hungolomghononoloughongous

guys I don’t miss OG Fortnite I miss the ppl

I just played and i don’t even care I’m just sad to be dropping alone

when I remeber 20 plus friends online when playing actual og fn

Comment deleted by Toast ツ
Toast ツ
Image

Ah well that sucks

Em I’ll play with you fr we can drop together