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Me: Yo I just stopped a kid from getting kidnapped. My friend: Wait how?!? Me: Self control.

Yes I know that this is a joke but I feel like everyone is on the community part of this website soooo yeah.

GENESIS 44 A Silver Cup in a Sack 1Now Joseph gave these instructions to the steward of his house: “Fill the men’s sacks with as much food as they can carry, and put each man’s silver in the mouth of his sack. 2Then put my cup, the silver one, in the mouth of the youngest one’s sack, along with the silver for his grain.” And he did as Joseph said. 3As morning dawned, the men were sent on their way with their donkeys.… Read more

Guys, i was just casually digging in my asshole, like any other human would, and i pulled out a condom, weird right?

MY SISTER WAS MAKING RAMEN FOR ME AND SHE FORGOT TO PUT WATER IN AND SHE MELTED THE BOWL AND MY HOUSE SMELLS LIKE BURNT PLASTIC AND RANDOM PERFUMES!!!!

HELP!!!!!!!!

Dating a striper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down inside they want some too.

Guys I know I'm not really liked here, but please ban Greg he's already being weird. Saying he wants to be furries.

❗️Hey everyone! I just wanna say something, this is very important to know when you read any of my posts or comments! -I can be unintentionally offensive and rude sometimes, but I’m just being honest. I don’t have any filter when I speak, for example: if you wear your favourite clothing and ask me to be honest if I like it or not, I will give you a brutally honest answer.

-So, if you ever find something I say hurtful or offensive, tell me, if you don’t I will have no idea if I have said anything wrong, or what I’ve said wrong.

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife." (Repost!)