Classified jokes

Anilingus

247 views · Anonymous · 5 years ago

What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?

If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!

Mother

8 views · Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 2 years ago

Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.

Tombstone

2 views · Overwatch_Gamer321 · 7 years ago

GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:

While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”

Account

9 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a thermostat displaying an error message that reads "Account Terminated. Your behaviour has violated the OJ Family Code of Conduct. Reason: Leaking United States classified documents. This thermostat has been locked." The time on the screen is "Fri 1:30 PM" and the temperature is "-964°C". The text "they done banned me from the thermostat" is overlayed at the bottom.

Classified memes

Yo mama

ringdinger · 2 years ago

Yo mama so fat, she classified as a whole solar system.

Emo

123 views · Anonymous · 3 years ago

Like if you know someone is emo.

School

4,016 views · octavius · 3 years ago

like this if you don't like school.

Hairline

3,293 views · not_pimi_gal01 · 3 years ago

Like it if you judge people's hairlines.

Man

135 views · Hot Sassy Guys · 2 years ago

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

Fashion Sense

1,224 views · Anonymous · 5 years ago

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

Toaster

2 views · TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

Oh dear Omnissiah imma act up!

The image shows a four-panel meme. The top panel shows a person holding a colorful, spherical object with a toaster design. The text says: "Here is what the classifier algorithm thinks is the pure essence of toaster. When the neural net". The subsequent panels show, from left to right and top to bottom: a picture of Adeptus Mechanicus, a robed figure looking unimpressed, an image of a regular toaster and finally a second robed figure flailing wildly.

Duck

4 views · Evil Duck Lords Of America · 1 year ago

A white duck is pictured on the left, and on the right is a list of "Duck facts!" which includes: "until 1995 ducks were classified as pond cats", "They have feathers because they would look ridiculous in shirts", "Duck's feet made of cheese", "The duck's natural enemy is explosion", "Ducks can't go into space on their own", and "Bread bread bread bread breab breadd bread".

Classified memes

Community talk

Calm down, no need to insult Jake. But I agree that Jake let the moderator privileges get to his head a bit. I have seen him ban people just because he feels like it or because they insult him. That could be classified as abuse. Jake, remember: You are a moderator, not a dictator.