Christmas time jokes

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

He grabs a noose.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.

Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?

Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.

Why is Santa's sack so big?

He only comes once a year.

You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.