Ares jokes
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?
They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."
Why are mountains never serious?
Because they’re hill areas.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.
The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.