Ares jokes
(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
Suicidal people are groundbreaking.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.
Jokes are like people. Some don't like the dark ones.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.