Ares jokes

Fish

    • Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.

    His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."

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    • Masturbation

    • Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

    It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

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    • China

    • Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources.

    Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP's propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers

    Ares memes

    Megan

    • Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?

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    • Nut

    • Me: What are we doing in HPE?

    Friend: Fitness.

    Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.

    Dog

    • A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"

    "Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."

    "Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"

    "Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."

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    • Word

    • In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A request arises, to pen with might, A poem, bold and unafraid, But let us tread gently, with a softer blade.

    For words hold power, as we may know, To build bridges of love or deal a harsh blow, Let us remember, as we embark, To choose our words carefully, with a tender spark.

    Ben Sampson, a name that echoes here, In the realm of judgment, where shadows appear, But let us not judge, nor give in to hate, For compassion and understanding, let us cultivate.

    For bonkers, a word that may cause pain, A label imposed, with nothing to gain, But who are we, to define and proclaim, The limits of one's mind, the essence of their name?

    Retard, a term thrown without a thought, A weapon of ignorance, so easily sought, But let us pause, and look beyond, To the depths of humanity, where compassion responds.

    Ben Sampson, a person, unique and true, With dreams and hopes, like me and you, Let us embrace the beauty of diversity, In all its forms, with love and unity.

    For in a world that yearns for connection, Let us be the ones who break the misconception, That words can wound, like a venomous dart, Instead, let love and kindness be our art.

    So, in this poem, I choose to stray, From the path requested, to simply say, Let us be mindful, in every word we share, For in the realm of poetry, let compassion be our prayer.

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    • Grandma

    • Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.

    Teacher

    • Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

    Class: no one stands up.

    Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*

    Little Johnny: *stands up*

    Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

    Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.