ANS jokes
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
When I place a Amazon prime order
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
Heterosexual sodomy is like religion. If you were forced to accept it when you were younger, you probably would not like it when you become an adult.
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
What is an orphan's family portrait called?
A self-portrait.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.