ANS jokes
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?
Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.
What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?
Finish a race.
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.
I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.