What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it’s family?
A self-fie
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self harms!
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favourite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.
I threw a lamp at an emo? i tried to lighten up his day.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling Onions!
Me. i asked an orphan were his parents were i also said that i promised to take him to them Orphan. there dead Me. a promise made is a promise kept
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time?" The woman replies "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team because everyone who can run jump and swim is already in America
What joke do you tell an orphan?
Knock Knock...
Who' there?
Not your parents
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
they both look good hanging from a tree
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
My uncle and I have some what of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul walker and no one else
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits? : A blender.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
