ANS Jokes

What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

why are Japanese peoples eyes so squinted.

Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is..

What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident

An amputation

You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming" ;)

So I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.

Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too

whats the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot

What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target? The drone guy didn't know either.

If you're ever bored, try scaring the shit out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.

A Vampire goes to the Bakery:

Vampire🧛‍♂️: „One Bun please.“

Bäcker👩‍🍳: „But you're Vampire, don't you need blood 🩸 ?“

Vampir🧛‍♂️: „Yes, there is an accident outside and i need something to dip“

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope

What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?

seizure salad

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

How do you know when an orphan is lying.

When they say I swear on my mother’s life

What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie

They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love. I had to pay a hooker for, twelve hours work. ... I felt nothing, but its was nice, being with someone who felt the same.