How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten-tickles.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
*Im an orphan. lol
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
Don’t let an extra chromosome get you down
what does Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
they both leave children's room with an empty sack
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up? Me: Oh I wan- Therapist: Don’t say to be dead Me: Well I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to sell land, pencils oh yeah. I also want to sell farm
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
What’s the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents
What can an Olympic runner do that hitler cant. Finish a race
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it "I'll get you some food once we get off"
Me-are you an orphan? Boy-yeah, what gave me away? Me-....ur parents
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You guys should know your limits."
What is the similarities of an orphan and a newborn plant, Both their parents were seperated.
