ANS jokes
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.
What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?
Because her teacher told her she had to do an essay.
An orphan boy at my school did really badly on a test and started crying. I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An im-pasta.
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.