ANS jokes
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X? Because it didn't have a home button.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
What game does an emo hate the most?
Cut the Rope.
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots.
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"