ANS jokes
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
Why did the rapper become an electrician?
Because he wanted to SHOCK the audience with his RHYMES.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Tennis because it's the only love they'll get.
What's the difference between a baseball game and an orphan?
There's a home to go back to.
What is a fun game for an emo kid?
Tug-o-war with a tree.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Hi, I hope you’re
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo of himself?
A family photo.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.
During the Wintery Wackiness Wars!
A Soviet Sergeant, stationed stilly near a sloped summit with his silly soldiers!
Then a shout sails from the tippy-top: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a hundred heroic Honchos!"
The Kommandant's kerfuffle commences, commanding a caravan of one hundred comrades to conquer the crest!
Nifty navigation notes nil, the nasty news nabs many! After an Hour, hush descends. The high voice hollers, "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a thousand heroic Honchos!"
Kommander fumes, forcing a further flurry, flinging one thousand fine fellows skyward!
Nearly two hours now and the noisy nuisance ceases, then the shouting starts: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures ten thousand heroic Honchos!"
The Kommandant kaput! Ten thousand troopers take the trek, taking tanks, trundling skyward, to take the terrain!
Four fearsome, fretful hours then a soldier in tatters comes tumbling, talking: "Stop sending up soldiers, sir! There's two Finns fighting fiercely!"
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.