What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
Shower thoughts
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick? Put ranch dressing on it
What was Hitlers favorite thing to do to pass the time? Smoking
What is the most common crime in Asia? Identity fraud
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
What was the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it, you’ll only be screaming my first.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
I don’t know why people don’t say Cobain because I’m pretty sure Kirk Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did
What’s the difference between rape and marriage
With marriage you get to keep the screaming woman
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom Kill confermed
What do you call 3 kids laying down in the classroom Kill streak
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back
Why are women’s feet so small? So they can stand closer to the sink
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
A child, molester and priest walk into a bar He orders a drink