"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."
GG Miller
This is the Polo Gang..
Just posting corny dad jokes.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown end up cleaning everyone's messes.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
What’s momma bear’s favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves? I'm not a-moosed right now.
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world; it only had one dog in it. It was a Shitzu."
"What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "Supplies!"
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
Your forehead is so big I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
; Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had 'no-body' to go with.
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
"My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas."