In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
USSR Soldier
Girls are like valcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with me beard". Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull"
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican not Mexicant."
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin wall
What is your arms favorite military branch? The army.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think hes alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis
Theirs a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking. At least Stephen Hawking does something.
How do you make a handkerchief dance? You put a little boogie in it.
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries
How can you tell if google is a girl? It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence
Me and my friend were duck hunting. He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!". Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
Spock went to the enterprises toilet and he knocked on it "Kirk are you in there?" Spiked asked, Kirk answered "hold on i am making a captains log"
To start im a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off" I said. He said "then you try it". He gave me the Santa suit and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gague shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun, he said "your crazy!", I responded "quackers"
Chuck Norris: " Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose" Me: "How come did you lose return of the dragon?"
How do you tell the difference between Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled
You know how many people said "this ship will never sink"?
They jinxed it by saying "never sink"
2 planes crashed into 2 separate towers.
Now 2 towers crash into 2 separate planes.
I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked "where are you going"
He said "Camp Bin Laden"
I asked "what do they do there"
He answered "they got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus the got arts and crafts."
I asked "what do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said "see this towel on my head" I nodded "I made it out of boxer jokes"